BEING FOREIGN

When I first arrived in Canada in 1960, I was sometimes called a DP. This was an appellation attached to European refugees, or "displaced persons", which I was not. Being young and with little command of the English language, it went "over my head."

As a European , I did not face the cultural shock that today’s immigrants from places such as Asia face; but I was still in a strange land with a different language, foods and customs. I too, felt a disconnect between the old and the new country’s culture.

Though the pull of the “old country” waned as time went on, I still had the feeling of being a foreigner, even as I integrated with the culture and language of my chosen home. I travelled “back home” less and less often, especially after my parents died, and old friends died or moved away. I began to feel like a tourist in my own country, a sense of not belonging there, while at the same time I felt more “Canadian” –although there was still a piece missing; that of my childhood in the “old country”.

My connection with other expatriates became less frequent as my identification with native Canadians grew stronger. Yet, there was always that “missing link” of childhood experiences, a kind of duality that still lingers; a feeling of them, instead of us. Yes, as a “willing foreigner”, with extended family “back home”, I could have returned. I chose not to. After many years away, you cannot go back again; the adjustment would be too great; the roots in the new country too deep.

Of course, Canada is a kaleidoscope of cultures and races, so no one needs to feel like an outsider in this happy human alphabet soup. However, immigrants of all kinds will always be a little schizoid; with one foot planted in the new; the other tentatively in the old. In my case, this was especially wistful, as I lost my Norwegian citizenship when I bcame a Canadian citizen in 1965. Norway does not recognize dual citizenship, so I had no choice if I wanted to fully partake in Canadian society. Most Norwegians here retain their Norwegian citizenship, leaving the door open for a return, even after years of life in Canada. I sometimes resent it when I hear these people critizise our government, yet they do not care enough to become citizens.

The first generation of immigrants, no matter how integrated, must live with the dichotomy of “being foreign” it in all its many manifestations, theough they might have little or no connection with the country they left.

In the end, what's important is not whence you came, but where you are going.