Youth and moral relativism

In case you're worried about what's going to become of the younger generation, it's going to grow up and start worrying about the younger generation.
--Roger Allen

What do the ravages of time not injure? Our parent’s age has produced us, more worthless still, who will soon give rise to another vicious generation.
--Horace; 65-8 BC

The older generation has always complained about the younger generation, from time immemorial. A certain amount of rebellion is normal as the young are finding their own stride. However, if we have infused them with good values, mores and beliefs while young, this should help them get through the rebellious youth without too much damage; and develop their own independent character and personality.

Today there are more diversions and choices, good and bad, for young people. The drug culture is a problem today as it was for the earlier generation, and it is getting worse, with more dangerous drugs and more general acceptance of it.

There are, as I see it, two diverse problems our society faces with the young today, and both are largely caused by bad parenting:

First, there are the spoiled brats; the product of over - parenting. The child is coddled and overindulged; over- managed and overprotected, and they come to think of themselves as the centre of the earth. As a result, they show little respect for others, including adults. If disciplined at school, the parents spring to their defence, whether or not they deserve defending. And these are just the good parents.

I recall a young man I had hired as a salesman for my firm. It was his first “real” job, and he was not cutting it. I had several talks with him, trying to steer him in the right direction, but I finally had to let him go. He was rather upset, and told me that his father had died a couple of years ago while taking him to a ball game, and he now felt that I had a duty to assist him, as a mentor; to help him becoming a success, since he was fatherless. I should mention that this was not a young man form a poor family; he lived in a upper class neighbourhood, Lorne Park, in a large house, and his mother was a business executive. This young man had a high sense of entitlement and of expectations –of me.

Second, at the other extreme are those whose parents don’t care; like some the children of single mothers who have no time for them. One of my young workers told me that when he was growing up, he had a new “father” each year.

What runs through much of these families are a serious lack of morals and mores, with parents who themselves are operating in a moral vacuum. Our society is one of entitlement and rights, without the concomitant responsibilities and social commitment. When leaving the nest, the child is bewildered and confused; lacking direction and goals. This hits home, in particular, to the poorer who often drop out of school early, but the upper classes also often get their wings clipped in the world of work.

Our generation, the baby-boomers, started this downward spiral. It might have to be up to the next generation to discover that moral values and a sense of duty are worth having. The chickens are coming home to roost, and the present severe recession is only the harbinger of what to come if we don’t come to our senses.

What people today lack is a sense of shame. A sense of shame is generated by a cohesive community with common mores, and is policed by the community by shaming (and even shunning) the offenders. It is an effective in censuring and restraining the culpable. What we lack now is a community with common mores and practices. We are bombarded with news about politicians and sports heroes who commit the most outrageous acts, both criminal and amoral, often with impunity. What we are developing into is a relativist society –moral relativism –where everything goes as long as it does not directly hurt another person. Without a clear moral beacon, young people are navigating in the dark; and when they flounder, there is no one to hold then to account, and it is someone else’s fault that they fail.

The disdain of a cohesive moral society is a stronger control of behaviour than any police force can muster. It’s also much cheaper. It’s a shame we don’t do more shaming.